Schrodinger's Teacher

It is truly amazing the things you learn as a 2nd Amendment advocate. I would have never imagined that the exercise of the right to keep and bear arms could serve as a lab for the study of quantum mechanics…but here we are.

Recent debate over allowing Tennessee teachers and school staff to carry concealed firearms reminds me of Erwin Schrodinger’s famous thought experiment, which examines whether two paradoxical conditions can exist simultaneously…that a cat could be both alive and dead* at the same time. In the same vein, when we discuss the idea of allowing schoolteachers to carry concealed handguns, we find that there exists a similar quantum superposition:

Class is in session.

Schoolteachers are simultaneously dedicated, courageous, and hard working educators who love their kids and deserve a massive pay raise…and incompetent, untrainable, careless and emotionally unstable fools who are incapable of safely carrying a concealed handgun and using it to defend their classroom. I present to you: Schrodinger’s Teacher.

Both brilliant educator and bumbling boob, Schrodinger’s Teacher can handle complex educational scenarios with professionalism and love, but when paired with a simple handgun, becomes completely untrustworthy and incapable of competently and safely managing a simple mechanical device (less complicated than the car they drove to work). Schrodinger’s Teacher is often praised for their willingness to work extra hours to prepare lessons and grade assignments, and even spending their own money to purchase classroom supplies. At the same time, Schrodinger’s Teacher cannot be expected to spend a few hours practicing with their pistol, or to purchase training, range time, or ammo.

Dedicated or danger?

Often hailed as some of the most heroic, upstanding, and caring people in their communities, Schrodinger’s Teacher is simultaneously unable to keep their cool in an emergency, prone to fits of violent anger, and likely to completely fold under any type of stress.

So the question becomes “which of these teachers is the one which actually exists?” In true Schrodinger fashion, the answer is both and neither, at the same time. This is because teachers are just people, like you and me. Possessing the same weaknesses and strengths as anyone else, teachers are just as competent to defend themselves and others with a firearm as anyone else...in fact, many teachers likely carry a firearm outside of school without issue. So if you take that same teacher and move them inside a school building, do they suddenly change their nature entirely? Of course not.

Anyone capable of carrying responsibly outside of a school (and that’s most people) is capable of doing the same inside a school, and that includes teachers and other school staff. And we don’t have to resort to quantum theory to divine the truth. With 32 states allowing some form of concealed carry in schools, if the careless, incompetent, mentally unstable teacher with a gun was reality…we’d know it by now.

Nothing to see here.

*No cats were harmed in the writing of this article.